The Cold War!

Privyet from Moscow!

Well the overnight train journey was an experience, but it was certainly better than expected. We jumped on board at midnight and after a few initial heart palpitations about the very hot and claustrophobic confines, it was all fine once we were unpacked and lying down. Brad fell asleep straight away, while I lay awake for what I felt was all night, but when the train arrived into Moscow at 9am I was fast asleep. We didn't even hear the banging on our door at first and when we did, we had just five minutes to get dressed and get out - eek!

We were greeted by our guide Edward, who looked every bit the solemn Russian man with his scowl and cossack hat, but his dry sense of humour was soon very evident, as well as his extreme patriotism. True to the stereotype, everything in Moscow was the world's best or the world's biggest simply because it is in Moscow (which actually is the world's biggest city). It was only after showing us the world's biggest bell which was never actually used, that Edward grudgingly admitted that Russians are famed for making things be the biggest and best, but utterly useless at the same time!

Straight away we were loaded on to the bus and set off on our tour of Moscow, stopping for a real 'OMG pinch me!' moment when we saw the Kremlin and the main church of Moscow all lit up from afar!

Needing breakfast and a good solid teeth brushing, we were dropped off in the famous Red Square, where we had breakfast in the world's most expensive shopping mall - thankfully, the cafeteria we ate at wasn't expensive in the slightest! Breakfast was eaten at lightening speed so we could head back out into Red Square to take photos of the Kremlin and St Basils cathedral. We then took a guided tour of St Basils, which is a beautiful, brightly coloured, lolliepop looking cathedral built during the reign of Ivan the Terrible! Two brothers built St Basils and when it was completed 10 years later, old Ivan asked them if they could ever build anything more beautiful. The brothers said yes, which was the wrong answer as Ivan promptly blinded them both as a reward for their good work so they'd never build anything again. Ahhhh Russia!

We then had a few minutes up our sleeved to take photos and we decided to spend them jumping around in snow, taking photo after photo - much to the amusement of locals! Russians have a reputation for being glum, but actually they just believe that overt displays of happiness and emotion are signs of a dim-witted mind! As we pranced, giggled and jumped around, they probably thought we were special needs itself, but I swear I thought I saw a few crack a smile. Especially when I jumped up and landed up to my arse in snow!

Edward ran a tight ship and rallied us up like sheep. There was no doubt in our minds that he'd leave us if we were so much as 10 seconds late, so we scurried after him and jumped back on the bus to continue the tour. We drove around seeing it all, stopping riverside to take photos of a giant monument to St Peter who founded St Petersberg. The monument was actually built as Christopher Columbus for the Americans, but after they refused to buy it, the sculptor sold it to his mate, who just so happened to be the Mayor of Moscow. A quick name change later and he was Peter the Great!

We continued on to Sparrow Hill, which looked out over the city, including the Oylmpic stadium from the 1980 Moscow Games. Edward rather dryly explained how these games weren't very successful as they were boycotted by many nations due to Russia's presence in Afghanistan. Now every such nation is there themselves - from his tone, I gather he was not impressed with the world's attitude to Russia during this time!

Russia is absolutely huge - so much so that it covers 11 different time zones and to catch a train to Vladivostock takes 10 full days. They also share a border with North Korea, so everyone is on tender hooks about this and keeping a very close eye on things says our wee Edward.

Our next stop was a part of town famed for the circus. Some of the group had decided to go to the circus the next night and were picking up tickets. We had opted not to as there were so many other things we wanted to see, and they also included lots of animals which we weren't overly happy with. Sally was vehemently opposed to this, so it was an easy choice to say no. We later learned they had bears riding bulls, and would jump from bull to bull - jaysus, can you imagine how they came up with that idea!? We swanned around posing with the clown statues, and I spent more than a healthy amount of time in the bathroom sick as a dog. Russia shook all of our health up a bit!

Back to the Kremlin we went for a tour of this amazing area. We had STRICT instructions to not veer off paths, take photos of the guards, and to stay on the tracks at all times. Edward said we would be warned with a very sharp whistle blow only twice - he never said what would happen next, but by the look of the weaponry on the guards it didn't take a genius to figure it out! The Kremlin was very big and home to many beautiful churches - so much so that you were almost tired of it all! Here we learned more about Ivan the Terrible and how he beat his son to death for allowing his wife to visit him without wearing make up. Edward explained that this was a great personal tragedy for Ivan however and he was devastated by his death - ummmm, forgive me if I don't feel sorry for him! This really hammered home the point that Russians like their leaders to be fearless and tough. As Edward put it, liberal leaders are considered to be 'very weak'!

 

 

After checking into our hotel, a quick kip was on the cards after the relatively sleepless night before and after an hour power nap, we set off for Hamish and Sally's room for a few drinks in honour of Ham's birthday. None of us could be bothered venturing out again, so we had an easy dinner in the hotel, washed down with a few Russian beers.

The next morning, after a rather dismal breakfast, we set off on our tour of Moscow's Underground. Sounds a bit unusual, but not when you see these amazing underground cathedrals. During the communist era, Stalin had everyone living in shitty communal flats, so he built 'underground palaces' to help bring beauty to the people. While they're very impressive, I'd sooner prefer my own kitchen and toilet than gold and crystal chandeliers at my local train station; however if I'd said something like this at the time, I'd be whisked off by the KGB never to be seen again! Best I keep my opinions to myself then!

Our tour leader then dropped us off at the pretty Arabat St where we were left to our own devices. Off the back of advice from very helpful colleagues, I had a list of things to do my arms length, so we decided to walk to the Cold War Bunker, which is a relatively unknown phenomenon which you can see. It was a nice long walk through Red Square and along the river, an hour in total, which gave us a chance to soak it all up and head off the beaten track. Despite the lack of signage and English, we managed to find it and after a very confusing 10 minutes, we managed to convince them to let us inside and sign up for a tour in Russian - we just wanted to see it!

We had a spare hour before our tour so we headed into a tiny wood cottage which seemed to serve food. It was like a homage to the feline species - pictures of cats everywhere, giving away postcards of cats, cats available on site for petting - tres creepy!

The Bunker itself was pretty surreal and is situated 65 ft underground and is 7km, built under a yellow shell of a building which is simply there to look inconspicuous. It was built during The Cold War and can withstand a nuclear attack. No one knew about it at the time, but today it is obviously public. It was fascinating, despite not understanding a word of Russian! Brad even got to try on an AK47 for size!

2.5 hours later we caught the underground (a stressful event in itself given there is no logic presented whatsoever, nor a recognisable alphabet) back to Red Square, where we fancied soaking up the ambience by night.

By this stage we were peckish and decided to jump off the tube early and head to an amazing Ukrainian restaurant we had heard about. The food was a mixture of delight and disgust - dried, raw fish being the real low point.  Afterwards it was back to Ham and Sally's room to finish off the birthday cake from the night before, then straight to sleep.

We were flying out to Vienna the next afternoon, so we just had a lazy morning before thankfully finding our way to the airport given the confusing public transport!

Next stop, Austria!

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